the end of a new begining
by eternal-grace101
Summary: Edward, he left me alone, well that was what he thought what he intened, but I'm not. Even though I have never felt so alone before in my life, I'm never alone. I'm pregnant and I don't know what to do. All I know is I will do anything for my baby.
1. Chapter 1

THE END OF A NEW BEGINNING

CHAPTER1

The characters in this story belong to Stephenie Meyer.

I was walking down the hallway on the way to lunch with Angela. She's the only one I will talk to since….he left. He left over two week's ago and he took my heart and my soul with him. I'm a zombie. The only time I truly feel something is when I'm with Ang. But I still don't think it's enough. But, I can actually talk to her with out it being to akward. I actualy told her how much I miss him and when he left she was the shoulder I cried on and still do. She's the only thing that keeps what's left of my life at bay.

What makes it so much harder about…Ed. Him leaving is that I really did and always will love him, even if he doesn't feel the same way about me. Three weeks before he left me he caved and we made love it was such a magical experience and I made out alive, so that was a plus. But now I wish I didn't. I was like every stupid teenager and thought that since he took that chance and made love to me that...well, he loved me and that we would be together now and forever. But I was wrong, so terribly wrong.

He told me I was just a distraction. That he grew old of me I bet you he never really loved me. I always wondered what he say in me and now I know it proubly wasn't much that he left like that. But… all the same I will always love him. Even with the hurt I have that lifeless hope in the back of my head that he will come back to me. But I'm not stupid I knowit won' happen, that he most likely found another someone beautiful who he can love for eternity. I have to stop thinking about him it just hurts to much.

So I was walking down the hallway when I started to feel sick…again. It's been like that for the past week and a half. So I instantly shot off to the nearest girls bathroom and started pucking my guts out. I didn't even bother to close the stall behind me, and I don't **think **anyone was in there. But then I felt someone holding my hair back and I didn't know if I should be thankful or embaresed that someone is seeing me like this. When I finally stopped throwing up I turned my head around to see a very concerned Angela staring down at me.I think she thought I was going to start again.

"Don't worry I think I'm done Ang... um, thanks for holding my hair and everything," I said trying to give her a week smile as we walked out of the stall and me to the sink to wash my hands, mouth and face. Yeah that certainly wasn't embarrassing at all. Well not that I really, both her and I know I don't feel much. So it's an improvement that I managed to get some color in my checks.

"Are you sure Bella? That's like the fifth time this week you've gotten up. Are you sick?" she asked me as I turned the water on the sink off so I could hear her. I had a horrible migraine. "I don't know if I'm sick but I have been getting a lot of migraines along with the throwing up and all." I seriously had no idea what was wrong with me.

But when I spoke that sentence and it all seemed to click in her head but she didn't seem too happy about it. I almost could have sworn I saw a light bulb pop up right above Angala's head. That's when Angela spoke the words I never expected to hear and I don't think I ever really wanted to hear those words.

"Bbella do you think you could be…prprpregnant. I mean cause it fits all the signs the throwing up, the migraines, and like just last week you told me you were late. Ddo you think you could be."


	2. Chapter 2

THE END OF A NEW BEGINNING

The characters in this story belong to Stephenie Meyer.

I was shocked...That was impossible but, I mean, it really does fit all the signs. But, but how he, he said...well, I guess he has said a lot of things to me that weren't exatlly true. And I mean I manage to find a a coven of vampires so with my kind of luck it just happens that I have to go and do the imposible, right.

Wait, what am I thinking...I mean Ed- he was liar but the rest of them weren't were they? That was part of the reason Rosalie hated me, because I could have children and she couldn't. So, it can't be. I must be wrong... but, _OH GOD,_ just because she couldn't...doesn't mean I can't. OH GOD, she's right, she's right, my mind kept screaming at me. But I can't have a baby, I mean there are so many reasons why, so probably the most normal reaction I have had to any life altering situation...I started to panic.

"No! I mean I can't, I'm not ready, he's gone, I mean…I,I,I." I couldn't breathe So I started hyperventilating. I wasn't ready for this, for a child. I'm to young! I I had a lif- I was thinking life a head of me but I lost that the second he, and with out him knowing or caring he took my life, my future, my everthing with him. _Oh God, t_his child, my, child, ooour child, won't grow up with a father. And I'm only eighteen. I'm not mother material I,I,I can't do this. Oh God, Oh God. With all that running throw through your head, how on earth are you suppose to try and concentrate on breathing normally or at all. And I was starting to get a little woozy from the lack of oxygen going throw my lungs.

I think Angela was in front of me, but everything was very fuzzy. Then I think it was Angela's hand on my back, because there was something rubbing calming circles into my back. I think she was trying to calm me down and thabkfully it was starting to help and I could feel more and more air making it's way into my lungs and luckly things weren't spining as much, because that was starting to give me a head ach. "Bella breath…breath in out, in out," I then started coping Ang's breathing. "It's ok Bell I'm here and if you are pregnant. And Bella look at me," she stoped the soothing motions on my back so that she could take my face between her hands and force me to look her in the eyes. The proceded to say each word carefully so that I would under stand. "we don't even know if you really are pregnant. So just breath…ok" I was still fowling the breathing pattern she had put out for me and I think I was able to breath my own again, thankfully. And she was right we really didn't know if I was pregnant. Oh God pregnant. Wait. Stop. Breathe, in out. "Ok what should I do" I asked in a very broken voice. I had no idea what I had to do, so I just started to bawl my eyes out. I've been doing that a lot lately.

"Uh… I, I don't know... let me think...um I don't think we should go to a doctor because then you know the whole town will know why your there, so we should just wait till we know for sure, OK? Um, how about I pick you up from your house and we go to Port Angeles and get the pregnancy test there, and hopefully no one will see us. Uh... I'll be there the **WHOLE **time… I'm not going to let you go throw this alone, espeically if the test is positive and you are pregnant. I won't leave you got it!" I couldn't belive what she saying, I would thin k she would think horribale of me and here she is telling me she is going to help me through this. I didn't know how to react other then through my arms around her tall fram and try and hug the life out of her, and whisper "thank you," in my most quit yet a very loving and greatful voice. Ang smiled softly and whiped a tear from my face when I finally pulled away and said " lets get to lunch before it ends, then I'll take you to the nurse and we can tell her you're not feeling , uh... I'll stay with you if that's what you want." Angela finished by giving my shoulder a sqeez. It amazes me at how much she actually seems to care for me, It is like she is screamin g it at me. But I don't know how any one could care for me... I'm I just by looking at the expression on her face I knew she wasn't lying or faking that she really was a true friend. This new revalotion about how much Angela actually did care, the tears started to fall down my checks lightly.

Once I was pretty sure that I hade the water works under control, I looked up at her through my tear stained lashes and throw my arms around her and pressed my face into her shoulder for a second before I was able to actually put what I was feeling towards Angela into an actual sentence. "Thank…you…so...much! I am forever grateful you Ang. I love you and I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you here for me right know. And I would really like it if you stayed with me_ I kind of don't want to be alone right now." I whispered the last part.

She laughed a light little laugh to make us both feel a little calmer I think. Then went into one of the empty stalls and came out with a few pieces of toilet paper and started to wipe away the remains of my tears, before she started to talk again. "I love you too bells, don't forget that," she giggled " and I guess it's a good thing you don't need to wear makeup or you would totally have black strips falling down your cheeks," she laughed and to my surprise I actually giggled,_GIGGLED,_ the first real giggle in awhile, and of all the times for myself to find some sense of humor know, know, of all times...is beyond me.

So we then proceded to leave the bathroom and head back to what was left of our lunch period. Angela left her arm around my shoulder to try and stop my shacking and for that I was thankful. I may not be feeling better about the situation exept for the fact that well... there is a situtation in the first place. I thought I heard Angela say something about how I didn't look to steady on my feet either, but I never saw her lips move. Huh. I don't know maybe I'm just losing it. I mean I could see it happening with all that I have been through, actually I am surprised that I haven't lost it yet, mabie this will be my breaking point. But I really didn't want think of what was going to come in the next few hours.

I was struck with a thought more like a question, that I wasn't really aware of. And I wasn't really sure if I was even ready to anwser this in the deep depth of my brain yet alone out loud. I didn't know what would be hardest for me to deal with... if I truely was pregant... or if I wasn't.

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**AUTHORS NOT: Hi everyone how is reading this I hope you all like my story and that I will try and post things quickly. But I only have up to the third chapter writen on microsoft and the rest seven or so chapters are all written in a note book but I will try and have them up as soon as I can. I also would like for people to review. I don't think I would be ending this story anytime soon because I have gotten some reviews and I love u all who did review my story and like it that I wouldn't just stop and not fin ish the story because I hate that and I love to write nad this my escape from the real world. OH and I would like to put in an extra special thanks to a really awsome friend Miranda for helping me with Ideas so I want her to get her credit...and she's just plain awasome!!! All hail Miranda ha! Srry for that but thanks all who are read luv all yall. -Shannon :)**


	3. Chapter 3

THE END OF A NEW BEGGING

After lunch Angela had me drop my truck off, and leave a note for Charlie that I was going to Port Angelas with Angela. _CHARLIE. _Oh my God what the hell am I going to say to charlie. Well I had no time to think about that right know. So we drove her car to the pharmacy down in Port Angeles. We had light conversation during the ride, we talked about school, collage, any thing but the whole reason we were going to this pharmacy. No, we stayed as far from that converstation and for that I was thankful. I didn't want to think about what we were doing what could happen but I knew I had to face it sometime but, mabie...not just yet. This car ride might be my last peice of mind I get for awhile.

I did ask how her and Ben were doing, she said they were good and that she thinks she in love with him. I'm glad Angela has him but it still hurts to think that I was as hopelessly in love like she is. Well, I guess I can't say was because I am still hopelessly in love with... he who shall remain nameless. But even though I am truely happy that Angela has someone I was thankfull, that she didn't go into all the mushy romantic stuff. I just wasn't ready to handle that. No, I have trouble looking at Ben when Angela is around, to see all that love and divotion...and to think that well, I once thought I was looked at the same way, but no I was just a play thing to him, and nothing more. I could feel warm tears swiming behind my eyes and I think Angela has seen enough of me crying, how utterly broken I am. I normally wait till I get to the confins of my room before I start to break down. After a while of trying to lighten the mood by talking, conversation sort of just ended after that.

So for the pretty much the rest of the rid I just sat there and thought of what is to happen if I am pregnant. I mean pregnant, WOW, I never thought I would be thinking that, especially at this age. I had always said I wouldn't be that girl. I was supposed to be resposible, smart, well I guess I never really was all that smart with e-him. I should have listened to my first instinct and known I was never good enough for him, not good looking enough, and just plan..._HUMAN. _So as of righ now I don't know what my future holds for me. Angela was lucky that she could trust in her future, when mine has been on I death spiral since my love, my only love left, just might be ending be ending.

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I don't know how long we just sat infront of the pharmacy. I knew that once we got out of this car and walked in there I would truely have to exept the fact that I just might be pregnant. I mean if I don't go in there I would still just be humoring the idea of being pregnant right, and that if I don't go in there and buy that pregnany test that there is no posible way that I could be pregnant.

Shit.

I can't breath.

In my little break down I almost forgot that Angela was still in here with me till she started coeing words reached my ear, telling me to breath.

I looked ar her with desperation clear in my brown eyes. Angela gave me a reasuring smile and the proceded to tell me " Bella, I'm going to be in there with you, don't worry. Right now we are just getting the test... and see, you don't even need to pee on anything yet," Angela finished that with a little grin at the mention of me haveing to go and pee on a stick.

But it did the trick, I was breathing normally, and I said with a tiny, pathetic, little chuckle that, " It's not the fact that I have to pee on stick...huh, oh but thank you now I have to worry about not missing tha stick," I gave her a light smile to let her know that I was not made but thankfull for making things less tense for me.

" Come on lets go get the tests so that you have time to take them without having to worry about...your, dad."

_here we go_

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I felt like every on e was staring at me once we actually mad it into the store, but I know that nobody really was cause Angela was probably the only one that notices me. But still I felt every one would be staring at me the whole time because I'm getting a pregnancy test.

I turned to Angela and asked in a hushed whisper " hey, were are they any way, ao we can just get out of here as fast as humanly posible."

She responed by telling me that they would most likely be the pads and tampons. So we both went out looking for the right isle. I had just pased the candy isle when I heard Angela yell that she found them, that they were isle 5. That was just a few isles down so I made my way over there and, I don't think I have ever been that confused before in my life.

I mean....there were so **many** different kinds, it was overwellming. I looked at Angela and she looked just about as cunfused as I did. Our eyes lookes and I told her, " I AM SO CONFUSEED!?"

She just nodded to me to tell me that we were feeling the same way, then looked back to the wall of pregnancy test, then back at me and said " I think we should go for the simple and easy ones were you pee on it then it gives you a plus for yes and a minus for no...K," She looked at me with a light nlush on her checks, probably for even having to be any were **near **a pregnancy test.

I just shook my head at her and started looking for a +/- pregnancy test. While I was looking I heard Angela shriek lightly and I turned to her in alarm. She was holding a pregnancy test, but on better inspection it read _first electronic pregnancy test; best way to get the right anwser._ After I read that and looked back up Anela and she had an increadals look on her face before saying " Who in the HELL would next a electronic pregnancy test....I mean really wouldn't you just end up shocking yourself by peeing on it, I mean seriously," she looked right at me at when she finished her little rant, looking completely serious. And I just couldn't help myself but to just start laughing. I mean that wa some funny shit and she was completeley right who needs an electric pregnancy test HA! Soon I was laughing so hard I couldn't even breath and I think Angela had joined me in my near hystaria but probably no to the leval of my giggles bvut close enough.

Once we both had enough control over ourselves Angela showed me a simple test and that I should buy 3 incease on of them is defected. And with that I came completely back and remeber why I was here. So with a sigh we headed toward the check out line.'

The cashier looked like she could be our age mabie a a year or two older, with play boy bunny blonde hair, big boobs bearly covered by nearly transparent tube top and vest, and if I was being perfectly honest everything about her said PLAY BOY BUNNY.

I brought her head up after puttinhg the three pregnancy tests on the conter, to see this womean with the nastiest sneer I had ever seen that it even riveled with Laurens, and looking at me with the utmost DISTUGST, I had evr seen.

I sharnk back into Angela when she started ring my 'things' up. She wraped her arm around me trying to comfart me, she must of seen the look that girl had given me, even though I don't know how any body would be able to miss it.

"That ill be $13.50," GOD, I could practicly see the venom dripping from her words. I shuddered and gave her the right amount so that I would have to be near this woman any more than I had to.

On our way to the door I heard the cashiers voice talking to me " I put something extra in your bag...miss," I could have sworn I heard the girl call me a skank before she corrected herself and said miss, but when I looked at Angela she was just pulling me toward her car...she didn't seem like she heard anything.

I shock my head while getting into the car and bickling my seatbelt when Angela started talking " that girl was such a, such a...Bitch! Treating ytou that way, I mean, huh." she huffed angerly, if I wasn't looking in my bag to see what that girl ment, I would have laughed. Angela never, amnd I mean never swears like that HA. But when I saw what was in the bag that train off thought was gone and I could feel my eyes start to water with tears.

There, in the bag, was box of condoms and a little note that said _"Mabie if you tried one of these you wouldn't be spending 13.50 on pregnancy tests, now will we_. That was mean. I could feel the tears falling down my cheeks more freely. I have become worse then some like that, who seems like she would fit in perfectly in the play boy mansion.

I shock my head; I could feel the numbness coming on, and that must have notafied Angela that I was crying because she turn to look at and asked " Bells, What's wrong," but I just turned to look out the window and pushed the bag over and said " nothing and I should probably start getting used to treated like that right, cause I'm a slut now," I said blanclky.

I think Angela was going to argue but she must have seen what was in the bag and dicieded it safest to stay quit, all though I thought I heard her mummer _POOR GIRL._

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**So I hope everyone liked it it's a little sad yeah, but I tried to get a little humar in there with the pregnancy test thing....and there REALLY IS AN ELECTRONIC PREGNANCY TEST!!!!! Ha so funny I mean seriously ha. Well so if you can please review, I want to know what you think and if u have any suggestions I might put into my stoy. **

**Shannon ;P**


	4. Chapter 4

THE END OF A NEW BEGINNING

These characters belong to Stephenie Meyer

We pulled up to the house and thankfully the cruiser wasn't there. I was numb. I didn't want tot have to go in there and take that test, to know my future. It's like when someone gets a new book and they go and read the last page, I don't want to know the last page of my story yet and another I thought my story finished when they left. There wasn't anything worth reading anymore. But…if I am to be a mother I will have to make something worth reading, worth living for and I'm not sure if I can do that. I'm barely living as it is.

I don't know how long Angela just let me sit in front of my house but, to soon for my liking she shyly said "Bella… we should, probably go in there and…take the tests. I don't think it would be good for your dad to walk in and well, you know."

I looked at her for a second then just barely whispered thanks, then grabbed my bag and turned to get out of the car.

We both walked in silence to the door and once we made it in the house Angela asked "Are you sure you want me to be here, I mean I, I don't want to be…bother, to you right now. I looked at her with terrified eyes and quickly said "No, I want you here, I don't think I can do this alone. You're the on-only person I want with me right now," well that wasn't exactly true. Having the maybe father-to-be, here would be kind of nice, well having him here at all would be rather nice, even under the conditions. "Please Ang. I'm sorry but, I need you, right now, well, more then ever I guess because I have needed you for awhile," I begged.

Angela practically tackled me into the ground with the force of her hug. "Oh, Bella I wouldn't want to be any were else right now, I'm sorry, I just had to make sure, and I will always be you friend, even if you are…" she let the sentence finish it's self because I think neither of us really wanted to bring it that out in the open.

I nodded my head to her, still a little chocked up from before to speak yet. We stood there for a few minutes until Angela asked where we should do this.

"Um, I think we should bring the bag into my room but Charlie and I share a bathroom so, well, we'll just have to use that one I guess but, uh" I chuckled lightly, "well I'm, I don't really need to use the bathroom yet so…maybe I should get something to drink, so that…yeah." I finished that awkward sentence by heading to the fridge to get a glass of orange juice, but not before I asked Ang if she wanted anything to drink or eat since lunch and that was a few hours ago and it was around 4:45 and I knew Charlie would be home around 6 so I had some time.

Angela and I took are glasses up stairs to my room to drink them and maybe talk, I guess.

My room was still the same since…wince, well, I just didn't have the heart; HA, Heart yeah I certainly didn't have that any more, to change anything. The same sheets that I remember that held both Edward and I during the nights that he would stay with me, the rocking chair I would sometimes wake to find him sitting in, and the window he would climb through almost every night so that he could stay and watch me sleep and sometimes hold me…the window I still keep open hoping (with false hope) that he would climb through again. I heaved a sign as I looked at it and almost chocked on the sob I wanted to let out at the pain that shot through me at my thoughts of him. To try and keep myself together; since Angela is sitting on my bed most likely watching me, I wrap my arms around myself and slump into the rocking chair that holds memories of that first morning. AHHH, God it's like I'm a machinist, thinking of those forbidden memories that cause me so much pain to remember. My arms tighten a little more when I suddenly wonder about how my baby feels when I do that, if it feels my pain, I'll have to fix- waaaait, I don't even know if I'm pregnant yet!!!

I down my whole glass of juice in a few seconds then look to Angela to protect myself from my own thoughts. Angela's expression was awed when I meet her gaze completely. I felt uncomfortable so I asked "What?" in a meek voice. She just shook her head and chuckled lightly, which helped with my tensed up atmosphere and said "Sorry, I just can't think for someone so small that you could drink that glass so quickly," she chuckled again and I smiled, and I think I may have even let out a laugh. Weird I think this the most I have actually laughed without it being forced and of all times, my emotions seem to be going from one to another, can't decide on which.

"So, how…how are you doing?" She asked in a small voice I almost couldn't hear. I looked up and cocked my head slightly and saw that her face was only full of concern so I decide to answer with the truth, "Ok I guess, considering the…situation, I think I am handling it as well as can be expected," I said in what was hopefully a pretty strong voice.

She shook her head slightly and didn't really meet my eyes when she asked her next question "No, I mean, are you alright, or, eh, any better since…Edwa-" She must have seen the pain my eyes when she started to say his name because she stopped abruptly then continued in a little bit of a different direction, "since well…since, they left." She looked at me with that same look of concern and sisterly love and again I thought I heard her whisper "_I hate to see Bella in pain, she shouldn't have to go through this." _Buyt it was so quit and she sitting on my bead so I just shook my head and told myself that I was just hearing things.

Thankfully, getting me out of having to tell Angela that I am still sad and miss him sooo much, and that I…I'm still irrevocably in love with him, I suddenly felt like I was going to die if I did not pee.

So I shot out of my chair startling Angela and then bolting toward the bag with the pregnancy test and running out my bedroom door, barely sparing time to yell at Angela "I got a pee, or I will die!"

Once I got into the bathroom I all but ripped the test out of their packages when I realized I didn't know what do. So with a sigh and re-crossing my legs, I started to read the directions, wishing I had done that instead of getting lost in my painful memories. When I finished reading the directions I was so thankful, because I _really_ had to go.

O finished well my...buisness in the bathroom ans set the three tests on the counter and first went to set the timer on my cell phone for 10 minutes. I sat next to Angela on the bed but couldn't stop from tapping my foot. I was so nervous, but really it could only be one of to anwswers yes or no.

I don't know how long I sat there tapping my foot nervously and twisting my hand together before Angela finally put her leg over mine and pulled me in for a very confirting hug. I felt better but I still couldn't help but wish I was in a different set of arms. I have to stop thinking like that it's not going to help.

In the middle of thoughs thoughts the timer of my phone buzzed and I thought I would jump out of my own skin.

I looked at Angela and she squezed me alittle harder and pulled me up and then got up herself. I gave her a quizical look and she just shock her head at me and said " We have been through this Bella, I'm not letting you do this alone" she took a breath "So come on lets go see what it says."

We slowly made our way down the hall to the...the bathroom.

I slowly pulled the door open, hearing it creak behind me, like a monster was going to jump out and try to kill me, which I kind of felt like there would be. But no...just three little sticks tghat told me the anwsers, that would be the rest of my life.

Speaking of those three sticks I took a deep breath then stepped forward to look at them more closely, although I was pretty sure I could see it all the way from hear. Yep, I thought in a shacking voice even for in my own head.

Three little postive signs wear starring back at me.

There was no way way of lying to myself any more, the prof was right in front of me.

FUCK.

I gave a bitter laugh and said "That's where it started, right. What I thought was making love was a smiple and easy fuck" wince"to him. And know I'm ficked up... litearly.

I AM PREGNANT!

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**Sorry for not getting this up sooner but I was in California and I then** ** getting smashed with home work. Sorry I will try to do it sooner and I hope everyone likes it!!!!! ;) **

**Shannon ;) **


	5. Chapter 5

I am sooooooo sorry I haven't updated in a really long time!!! I have been really busy and hopefully I will be able to

THE END OF A NEW BEGINNING

These characters belong to Stephenie Meyer

I don't know how long Angela let me stand there but I think after awhile she couldn't take it any more and had to see the answers for herself.

There was silence. No noise at all. But really what do you say in this kind of situation.

I guess Angela couldn't take the silence any more because she turned to me and said " I guess I-we should call the a doctor and make an appointment. I mean maybe...maybe the test were...wrong."

I just looked at her as tears feel down my checks because really I know and she knows, that I AM PREGNANT. We just can't lie to ourselves any more. And with that thought I broke down into full out sobs and quickly fell to my knees.

Angela was quick to wrap her arms around me while I cried... and boy did I cry. When I was finally able to open my mouth without letting a heart wrenching sob out I asked he "What am I going to do?" Then another quit sob left me, and I thought my body couldn't produce any more tears.

I meant for my question to be rhetoricalAngela really answered "Well Th-there are other...options, you know?"

I don't know what happened but I made my decision right then and there because as those words left her mouth and the meanings behind them qlicked in my head I immedently wraped my arm protectively around my stomach and said in a very strong, sure voice " I. am. keeping. this. baby."

That was the only thing I was completely sure of in my life. I don't know if I will be able to finish school. How my parents will take the news. How I was going to carry a half vampire half human baby. I don't even know if this baby is human or vampire. Or if I will even be a good mom.

But I did know I would do anything for this child. It has given me a reason to live again because I know I can't keep going on the way I am right know. And I will try my hardest to be the best mother I can be, because this baby is not only the last thing I have left of Edward but also the Prof of our-no my love for him.

Without even relizing it my hand had started roubing circles into my stomach.

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HI EVERYONE! I AM SO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN A REALLY LONG TIME AND FOR THIS BEING SUCH A SHORT CHAPTER BUT I JUST WANTED TO GET SOMETHING OUT THERE FOR EVERYONE.

SCHOOL IS OVER THE 18 SO I SHOULD HAVE MORE TIME TO WRITE. :)

I WILL TRY TO UPDATE MORE AND MOVE THE STORY ALONG.

I HOPE PEOPLE REVIEW AND I APPOLOGIZE AGAIN AND HOPE EVERYONE WHO IS OUT OF SCHOOL OR HAS STARTED THERE SUMMER IS HAVING AN AMAZING TIME

-SHANNON :P


	6. Chapter 6

**I am not going to lie and make reasons for my not updating, especially since I just re read the last chapter and my AN. But I am sorry that I have not updated but recently I have just been getting slamed and slammed and then when you think their done...Their is more Homework!!! Also my normal laptop has had a virus for a very long time. I have gotten a new laptop but it does not have or I have not completely got microsoft so well yeah. I wanted to say I am sorry. But I do not have any plan, as of right now to stop this story. But I do have an idea for an nother story and at the bottom of this chapter I will write not really a summary but just a detail of what is in my head.**

**So I hope you enjoy.**

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**Unfortunately these characters do not belong to me but Stephanie Meyer.**

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We just sat in my room for awhile not really doing or saying anything, just the having the comfort of knowing that I had someone was there for me. But eventually the sun light fron the window started to fade and turn to twilight. Twilight, he had once said that was the safest time for his kind, I thought while I absentmindedly rubbing circles into my still flat stomach I tried to picture what he could be doing.

Would he be off finding one of his distractions he had talked about. Would she be tall, taller then my 5"4 length. Maybe red hair, no, red hair would be much to close to my plain brown hair. No she must be a blonde, maybe with the beauty to rival Rosalie's, luscious curves in all the right places, strikingly beautiful. Someone who would give him no reminder of the dull human he left behind. Not that I do not have curves, they just can't always be seen.

I was yanked out of my mussings of the woman who most likely are off frolicing with the man who left me behind, by Angela pressing my hand between hers.

"So obviously you want to keep the baby but..." She started but drifted off as she watched my face go from confusion to realization to horror.

Confusion because sometime while thinking about the women Ed-he must be off with, I had somehow managed to completely for get all about the little life that was lying within my womb. How I managed to do that when all that has been on my mind since the possibility had been brought to my forfront of my problems.

I was horrified at the thought that I am already forgeting about my child. A child that I have not even meet yet. How could I expect to do this. I am barely 18 what was I thinking , raising a child all on my own. I would kill it. Do I even have maternal instincts. I may be a girl but but...

My breathing deepened, pupils dialated, dear God I am already pregnant do you really have to make the world start to spin to. I looked to Angela ready to tell her that I think forgot how to breath but she was straring quite intently at our joint hands laying on the bed. And when she stated to speak I was thankful to have something to concentrate on.

"I mean well I can tell just by looking at you that you would never abort your child, but I mean your young and I know a child is a huge responsibility and well... maybe-you-should-think-about-adoption." She said those last few words so fast that I don't know if I would have been able to understand even if my mind was listing to me.

But as I slowly came to understand what she said, I am not proud to admit, I really did consider it. Giving my child away to a great family, having a whole family that could care and love it. Not saying that I wouldn't or don't love my child, but a family someone who can always take care of him or her with not only a mother but a father to maybe even more then one set of grandparents. Something that I can not give. A father. Hell I probably can't even give my child one set of grandparents. Knowing the opinion my parents have on marriage, lets just say that I don't even want to think what they would do to me when they know I am pregnant and NOT MARRIED.

At least I can say that those thoughts only lasted a couple of minutes, thriving in my moment of doubt. Because I know that it will, I do say will and not would, be hard raising a child at my age. My parents tried to do it when they were only a couple of years older then I am now. But my mother she was, is, a free spirit and playing Mommy wasn't really in her plans. And I know it is sad but I am glad that I am not my mother, I mean growing up I raised her not the other way around. And as I had thought before, I will do anything for my child. I could already feel the connection, the love in myself grow for the little life in my belly. And now that I know what I want , just the thought of willingly giving my child away it makes the whole that they all left when they left in my heart burn and widened a little more every minute.

My feelings had weavered for but a few minutes and now while looking Angela in the eyes I was able to say with all the convition I had in my body...

" Angela, I hear what you are saying. I know that raising a child will be hard because even with a family it is, look at my parents! But for a minute I let that doubt that had been festering in my head take over and the idea of giving my child up for adoption over took me. I thought that it could have better life then I probably can give, but I am selfish and I thought of what I would miss if I gave my child up. And I don't think I could ever do that." Angela was looking at me with her mouth agape.

While Angela struggled with something to say back to me, Rosalie's head popped into my mind and my feelings were confirmed. And the knowledge that they, vampires are not able to have children, and I was ,even for second, willing to throw mine away. It made me feel sick.

But while I thought of that I wondered what my child would be like, but before I could think any further into that Angela responded to what I had said.

Uncertainty was in her eyes for just a few seconds before she nodded her head a few times before speaking " I think I understand what you are saying. Giving up my own child would be impossible." she nodded again before looking away a minute before continuing "But as I said before I am your friend and I will be there for you, no matter what."

_She is so strong, I am going to make sure she doesn't do it alone._

I tilted my head to the side wondering why she was talking about me in the third person but just shook my head. We had more important things then that to be worried about.

"Thank you that means so much to me." I smiled a small smile and squeezed her hand lightly. I would have said more but a buzzing stopped me.

I was looking around, wondering where it was coming from when Angela puled her cell phone from her pocket. Duh. She turned to me looking apologetic. I told her she was free to talk in here while I went down stairs to start dinner for Charlie, realizing how late it was. I was chopping the salad to go with the steak I had just put in the oven when something just clicked in my head.

CHARLIE!

_Oh my God, what am I going to say to Charlie? What would he do when I told him? How would I tell him? When would I tell him? WHAT WOULD I TELL HIM?_

_Hey, Dad. You know how like three weeks ago the love of my life decided to tell me that he didn't love me and you found me just laying in the woods. Well, before Ed...that man left , well we kind of lost control of our selfs and well... I'm pregnant. Oh, did I forget to say that said man is a vampire and the baby in my tummy is a well, I don't really know._

Yeah that's going to go over well, hear the sarcasma their. At least I still have that part of me left.

"Bella that was my dad saying it was time to go home...oh my God are you alright!" I was so into my thoughts that I didn't even hear Angela come down. I was wonder what had her so worried when I realised I still had the knife in my hand and said hand was shaking so much I felt like I was my Grandma, the one I still see in my dreams, when I'm not having nightmares about him leaving me, us. Which is pretty much all the time.

"Bella!" She shouted again this time prying the knife right out of my hand. She was looking at me all concerned, probably thinking that I had suddenly gone suicidal or something. But I would never do that especially since it's not only my life to take anymore.

She lead me to a seat at our dinner table, looking at me all concerned. Before she could ask me if she was alright I managed to force out "I'm fine I just, haven't eaten in awhile. You know...pregnant woman need to eat a lot right." I joked weakly.

But it worked, she laughed a little. But I could tell she had to go. So I insisted that she head home, saying that I was fine. I had some food in the oven and was sooo ready to eat it! We laughed a little more. I found it odd that I have laughed more these last few days then I have in these past few weeks since the cull-they left me. She was hard to persuade to go but we both new she had to. I reminder her that I my dad would be back soon and she in turn promised to see me tomorrow and to call if I needed her.

Normally the pain would intensify to nearly unbearable heights when I am alone but for the first time, all the questions in my mind over took the pain. I had so many questions in my head but the one in the for front of my mind right now was what do I do about Charlie? Questions and possibility's were flying through my mind faster then any vampire I had seen.

I had just come to a decision on what to do, when the door was flung open.

"Bells, I'm home!" My head whipped towards the direction of the front door to see charlie taking off his gun holster and unloding the gun, he started that a little after he, wince, left. Didn't want to give me any ideas on doing something stupid.

CHARLIE WAS HOME!!!

And I froze where I sat.

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**Again I am sooooo sorry that I have not updated in awhile. That is being nice! But I do plan to do it more often and hopefully I will update more often. But please review. I know, I know what have I done for you recently. right? But it really does help motivate me and make me feel happy to know people are reading this. So is you could take a couple of minute just to review that would mean soooo MUCH!!! So please please review! **

**Thank you!**

**I would also take any suggestions you have or if anyone is offering I might need a beta to check my work! :p**

**But now the important part!!!**

**I have had this idea stuck in my head for a few weeks now and I just have to write it down. Actually I sort of have a few Ideas but this one I just have to have write down. So tell me if you like it and hopefully it ill turn out right!**

**So here it goes...**

**It would be a Twilight and Harry Potter cross over, probably set between the Goblet of fire and the order of the Phoenix. But I would probably move the time of the triwizard tournaments to ending half way through the school year and they probably would be 15 (not sure but any suggestions would be great) because you know that it would be really weird if bella was 14. But Dumbledore would take bella away half way through the year not allowing her to use magic and leaving her in forks but unfortunantly she isn't the only magical creature there. It will be an Edward and Bella storey!!! **

**SO TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF THIS CHAPTER AND MY IDEA FOR A NEW STORY WHAT YOU THINK! SO PLEASE REVIEW CAUSE I DID GIVE YOU AN EXTRA LONG CHAPTER, EVEN THOUGH IT HAS A LITTLE BIT OF A CLIFF HANGER. BUT THEN YOU WILL GET TO KNOW THE NEXT CHAPTER SOONER!!!**

**~SHANNON ;P**


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